Actor Raychel Addo on rethinking career success, rejection, and ambition when navigating the industry as a parent.
Key Takeaways
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Rethinking ambition: Motherhood does not mean losing ambition or career momentum. Instead, it reframes what success looks like, driving a deeper desire to set a strong example for your children.
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A healthy perspective on rejection: Having children helps prevent the sting of audition rejections from lingering too long. Being present for a child serves as a natural grounded reset between roles and auditions.
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Adaptability over perfection: Creativity rarely happens in quiet, ideal environments when raising children. Embracing the chaotic reality—such as turning self-tapes into playful family activities—builds adaptability and efficiency.
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Refined creative skills: The day-to-day realities of parenting naturally foster traits that directly benefit acting work, including empathy, patience, resilience, and emotional depth.
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Sharper boundaries and discipline: Time constraints demand clearer focus and boundaries. Learning lines during quiet hours or post-bedtime instils a highly efficient work ethic.
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Community and support exist: Navigating the industry as a parent is not a solo effort. Leaning on supportive representation, family, and advocacy organisations like Parents and Carers in Performing Arts (PIPA) provides necessary solidarity and practical resources.
Building a creative career and raising a child simultaneously has forced me to rethink success, resilience and what ambition really means. Here’s what parenthood has taught me about surviving — and thriving — in an unpredictable industry.
Before becoming a parent, I thought creative success looked a certain way.
It meant being available at all times. Saying yes to every opportunity. Working all hours. Hustling harder than everyone else and never missing a chance to move my career forward. That mindset served me well for a long time. In many ways, it was my default setting. If there was an opportunity and the project was right, I wanted to be in the room.
Then I became a mum.
Like many creatives, I worried about what that might mean for my career. The industry has a habit of making parenthood feel like a complication rather than a natural part of life. I expected things to become harder. I expected compromises. What surprised me most was how possible it all felt.
My agent supported me. My family supported me. Most importantly, I didn’t leave room in my own mind for the idea that motherhood and creativity couldn’t coexist. Becoming a parent wasn’t the end of my ambition; it simply changed the way I approached it.
Shifting Perspectives on the Big Screen
In fact, some of the biggest opportunities of my career arrived after becoming a mother. In recent years, I’ve had the privilege of working on projects for the BBC, Apple TV and Netflix. Standing on those sets was a reminder that parenthood hadn’t closed doors for me. If anything, it deepened my confidence and perspective.
The version of me who stepped onto those sets wasn’t the same actor I had been before. I was more resilient, more efficient and far less concerned with perfection.
When I booked EastEnders, my daughter was old enough to understand that something exciting was happening, but young enough to turn it into her own magical story. While I was preparing to play a neonatal nurse, she was convinced I spent my days looking after babies, unicorns and magical creatures. To her, it wasn’t a career milestone or a long-running British institution. It was simply another adventure Mummy was going on before coming home.
There was something wonderfully grounding about that. One of the moments I had worked so hard for was, in her eyes, just another story.
The Ultimate Antidote to Rejection
One of the biggest shifts parenthood has given me is a healthier relationship with rejection. As actors, rejection is woven into the fabric of the job. Before parenthood, I could spend days replaying auditions in my head, analysing every choice and wondering what I could have done differently.
Now? I simply don’t have the luxury.
When an audition doesn’t go my way, there’s a little person waiting for me who wants to blow bubbles, read stories or show me something fascinating she’s discovered. Parenthood has given me perspective. It hasn’t made rejection hurt less, but it has stopped it from taking up so much space.
The same is true of the quieter periods. Instead of viewing them as failures, I’ve learned to see them as opportunities to reflect, reset and create. And when I’m not doing that, they allow me to be fully present with my daughter. Watching the world through her eyes has become one of the greatest creative gifts I’ve ever received. Children notice everything, and as storytellers that’s a skill worth holding onto.
Fueling a New Kind of Ambition
When it comes to ambition and what I want for the future, the biggest surprise of all is that parenthood has made me more ambitious. Not less.
Of course I want to provide for my family, but my ambition now goes beyond personal achievement. I want my daughter to see what it looks like to pursue a dream wholeheartedly. I want her to understand that goals are worth working towards and that setbacks aren’t reasons to stop.
Parenthood has also forced me to become more disciplined. When your time is limited, you become incredibly clear on what matters:
- Scripts get read after bedtime
- Lines are learned while little ones sleep
- Self-tapes become family productions
One afternoon, I was trying to film a self-tape while my daughter was determined to be part of the process. What could have been a stressful situation became a game. She did her “take” first and then I did mine. If she believed my performance, I took it as a positive sign. Before parenthood, I might have been frustrated by the interruption. Now, I’ve learned that creativity rarely happens in perfect conditions. Sometimes it happens between snack requests, costume changes and impromptu toddler performances.
Finding Strength in the Chaos
Filming away from home remains one of the hardest parts of the job. As she’s grown older, she’s become better at understanding where I’m going and why. Unfortunately, that also means she’s become better at expressing how much she’ll miss me. The goodbyes can be heart-breaking. The reunions, however, are unforgettable.
And yes, there are auditions after sleepless nights. Days where exhaustion arrives before you do. But strangely, those moments often pull me out of my head and into the truth of a scene. Parenthood has challenged me in ways I never expected, but it has also strengthened skills that are invaluable as a performer: empathy, patience, adaptability and resilience.
If a newly pregnant creative asked me how to keep their career alive after becoming a parent, my answer would be simple:
- Be clear about what you want.
- Know what success looks like for you.
- Communicate openly with your team.
- Don’t assume that parenthood will diminish your creative potential. In my experience, the opposite can be true.
Unstoppable and Evolved
For years, I believed success required endless availability, constant hustle and a willingness to sacrifice everything for the work. Parenthood challenged every one of those assumptions. It taught me that boundaries can coexist with ambition. That resilience often grows in the quiet moments. That rejection is easier to survive when your identity is rooted in something bigger than your career.
Most importantly, it taught me that creativity doesn’t disappear when you become a parent. It evolves.
Parenthood hasn’t made me a worse creative. It’s made me a more focused actor, a more disciplined creative, a more empathetic storyteller and a more ambitious human being.
It hasn’t made me smaller. It’s made me unstoppable.
Finding Your Community
Balancing the demands of the entertainment industry with family life can feel like a solo act, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Organisations like PIPA (Parents and Carers in Performing Arts) are actively working to erase the motherhood penalty and promote flexible, family-friendly working practices across the industry. By connecting with PIPA and leaning into your local performer-parent community, you can find the resources, advocacy, and shared solidarity needed to keep your creative flame alive while raising your children.
About the Author: Rachel Addo
Raychel Addo is a professional actor and creative who has worked on high-profile projects for the BBC, Apple TV, and Netflix. Alongside her acting career, Raychel is passionate about exploring the intersection of motherhood and the arts, advocating for parent performers navigating the entertainment industry. Tune into her insights on the Milk and Mummies Podcast on YouTube or via Spotify.
