Why trying to control performance anxiety actually makes it worse and how shifting to acceptance can unlock your best work.
Auditions – they’re a big part of every actor’s life. They’re the gateway to work, creative partnerships and the next exciting opportunity. For many actors, however, the excitement of an audition is tempered by stress and anxiety that stops them from showing what they can do when it matters most. It’s tempting to think that your auditions would go so much better if you could get your nerves under control. Unfortunately, trying to prevent anxiety from happening can often make the problem worse.
In my 30+ years as an actor, I’ve experienced this paradox first-hand. Trying to understand why anxiety was limiting me inspired me to train as a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist and now, I help actors refocus their approach to performance anxiety.
In this article, we’ll explore some of the psychological reasons why trying to control your audition nerves is only making them worse and suggest ways to accept your anxiety so it no longer holds you back.
What Are Audition Nerves?
Audition nerves are a set of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that activate your fight or flight mechanism – dominating your attention and preventing you from doing your best work when it counts. It’s tempting to think that there’s something wrong, but your brain is responding exactly as it was designed. Our brains haven’t evolved much since the Ice Age. They’re still wired to scan for danger, but can’t distinguish between a lion and what’s behind the audition room door.
While we’re waiting for the audition, we get trapped in an anxiety spiral – worrying about worrying. When you’re caught in that loop, it takes up all your mind’s working memory, making it difficult to direct your attention where it’s really needed.
Why “Just Be Confident” Doesn’t Help
Well-meaning friends often say, “Just be confident,” or “Relax and be yourself.” The trouble is that advice doesn’t give you anything practical to work with. If I say, “Don’t think of a pink elephant,” I can guarantee the dominant image in your mind right now is a pink elephant. Whatever I tell you not to think about, it becomes the only thing you can think about. It’s the same with anxiety. The more you say, “I don’t want to be anxious,” the more it builds.
One of the strangest things about the audition nerves paradox is that it only has a hold over you because you allow it to. Trying to control your nerves merely adds fuel to the fire. So if you can’t control them, what can you do?
Acceptance vs Control
Here’s where it gets counterintuitive. How would it be if, instead of wrestling with your nerves, you accepted them? There’s a crucial difference between focusing on your nerves and accepting them.
When you focus on controlling your nerves, your mind fills with one thought: “I must not be anxious.” This creates the very anxiety spiral we’re trying to avoid – you’re worrying about worrying. All your mental energy goes into the internal battle, leaving nothing for the actual audition. You can’t be present in the room because you’re too busy fighting yourself.
When you accept your nerves, something different happens. You acknowledge, “Yes, I’m nervous, and that’s normal,” and then you stop fighting. The anxiety doesn’t magically disappear, but it no longer consumes all your attention. Suddenly, there’s mental space again. Space to notice who’s in the room. Space to listen to direction. Space to do your work.
Think of it like this: If you’re in a tug-of-war pulling against yourself, you’ll never win. Acceptance is simply putting down the rope.
You’re Not Broken
One of the first things I tell actors when I work with them is that you’re not broken when you feel audition nerves. Your brain is working exactly how it’s meant to. The brain evolved to look out for danger and the intrusive thoughts you experience are your brain predicting what problems may arise. However, these thoughts are not facts.
Just because you think, “They won’t pick me,” doesn’t make it true. Until the casting decision is made, it’s only a prediction. And even if you aren’t cast, it’s not your thought that made that decision.
Playing Audition Nerves Bingo
An important step to take is learning to recognise the signs of anxiety as they occur. I recommend getting yourself a notebook to write down your thoughts and feelings as you experience them. Hopefully, you will soon become attuned to the triggers. For some people, it could be how much time they have to prepare, for others, it could be the challenge of fitting an audition into a busy life. We each have our own pattern of triggers and thoughts we go through every time.
Recognising the components that make up your anxiety helps you gain cognitive distance from them – you see them for what they are: a set of unhelpful thoughts. After a while, you will become so familiar with them that you can tick them off as they arrive, much like playing a game of audition bingo. Instead of having a big problem called anxiety, you identify specific areas that are causing concern, which can help you develop coping strategies.
Releasing the Tension
The biggest side effect of all these thoughts and feelings is that the body tends to become very tense. It is not possible, however, to be both anxious and relaxed at the same time. Thankfully, it’s easy to release this tension by using the power of your breath.
Take three, slow, deep breaths. If you elongate the time spent breathing out, you will naturally trigger your body’s relaxation reflex. You can help that by telling yourself, “I am safe, I belong here,” or any other suitable positive affirmation that helps. Within a few breaths, your body shifts into safety mode. It clears the working memory and allows you to focus on what really matters – the audition you’ve prepared for. If you practice this breathing regularly, your body will learn to adopt it whenever the signs of anxiety show up.
Anxiety tends to bring your focus inward. It’s as if everything is in close up, your worst feelings are magnified and from the outside, you can appear shut off. The answer to this is to get your attention focused outside yourself. Notice five things you can see in the room around you, four things you can hear, and three things you can smell.
In the audition room, make it your point to notice who is in the room, what they are wearing and write it down in your notebook afterwards. By giving yourself something to do, you will make yourself less self-conscious. You can practice this at any time, especially when you feel that inward focus dominating your thoughts.
From Threat to Opportunity
As long as you’re fighting the nerves, all your energy goes to the battle. There’s no space for the reframe. Gaining some cognitive distance gives us the chance to review the evidence and see if there are other conclusions.
This is why acceptance reduces anxiety’s impact. Not resignation, but acknowledgement: “Yes, I’m feeling these sensations. Yes, my brain is predicting threats. This is normal.”
Once you stop fighting and make room for the nerves, something shifts. You notice your racing heart and say to yourself, “Oh, perhaps I’m excited.” That subtle shift – from “Something’s wrong with me” to “This matters to me” – changes how your brain appraises the situation.
Imagine each audition as a crossroads – one path towards excitement, the other towards anxiety. By reminding yourself you can choose which path to take, you’re not changing the physical symptoms, just deciding which way to move forward.
It takes conscious effort at first, but with practice, choosing excitement becomes your default. Over time, that pounding heart becomes a sign you’re excited, ready to be present and curious. Because behind that door isn’t a hungry lion; it’s a group of people keen to see you do your best work.
Gavin Duff is a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist and actor with over 30 years of performance experience. He specialises in helping actors and creatives manage performance anxiety. Find out more at www.thoughtcompass.co.uk
